Halloween is nearly upon us and I am reminded of this time last year when I went to the store and bought a few pumpkins by myself. I took them home and carved them by myself. I lit candles and watched them in the dark by myself. It was at that time when I knew how I would die–in some kind of freak holiday festivities preparation…alone. I suppose it’s not too late to go out and wrangle a few pumpkins from Albertsons.
I wrote something today. I do still write, it just seems inconsequential a few days later. Oh, and always it is wildly inflammatory.
Lately, I’ve been in desperate need.
I’ve been interested in Andy Warhol lately. Saw Factory Girl and a docu on Andy. Read up on them both. Desperately wanted a cigarette. A few years ago I got into Basquiat. Andy volunteered, he went to church on Sunday, he wasn’t one to go into debt or do drugs. He lived with his mother. An IQ of 68 or 148–nobody knows. Well, actually it is quite clear that it was something higher, based on his smirk and based on the way he enjoyed messing with us. He reminds me of me. Basically I think we are the same person. I watch people take too many drugs, drink too much, stay in bad relationships, and I just watch. Edie went overboard with the drugs and Andy just watched. There is something about watching someone who has everything piss it away. Lindsey, Britney, we want them to go deeper and deeper. I am their working-class admirers.
His mannerisms set the pace for people like Tim Gunn.
My candle flame is making a strobe light right now. I wonder what causes that. A severe weather warning notified me of the hail that is now slapping at my window. The wind and weather wakes me up at night lately. I have this big radiator. I love this kind of heat. It makes me feel cozy, and since I don’t pay for heat, I can turn it way up. Also, I recently bought new tea: pomegranate green tea. It smells amazing, but its taste is less so. This is the makings of a lovely, cozy winter, but now I fear that it will be lonely and anxious.
I love Ellen DeGeneres. I mean, I love her.
I’ve been on a Woody Allen binger.
What do I do for exercise? Tiddlywinks…and the occasional anxiety attack. (Thank you Woody Allen)
I just had the most amazing night of sleep. This morning, I feel almost drunk from it.