Monthly Archives: December 2008


But! But! Look how pretty!


I am waiting for a break in the weather to make my trip home. I’ve actually been really anxious about the drive. Last night I couldn’t sleep. I have two possible ways of getting home, but both require traveling over highway mountain passes. There’s also the stress of putting on (and taking off) chains. I’m pretty good at putting them on, but I have to take my gloves off for part of it, and that is usually excruciatingly, painfully cold–especially in this weather. Still, I can’t wait to be home. I am told that one ewe is already making a bag, which means we could have lambs before I have to go back to school! Last year I helped the same ewe deliver her lambs, twins for Christmas. So maybe if I’m lucky she’ll lamb early again.
This semester has been a pleasure. Of course, I still need to get my grades back…But, overall, I stayed on schedule with my writing and research and produced the documents a day or two early. This is unprecedented, but I think it has to do with not allowing myself to get stressed and to just enjoy the process. I will turn in my last piece, a final portfolio this afternoon, one day early. And my grading was finished yesterday. Originally I thought I would be working through the weekend.
We’re getting a lot of snow here. Eventually I’ll have to pull on my snow boots and trek on up to the school to turn in my papers and water my office plant. I hope it can survive for three weeks without water. 

talk to me

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Taught a yoga class.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I usually re-remind myself to work out, be healthy, and eat vegetables. By the next year, I need that reminder again.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, I followed several pregnancies this year, but nobody really close.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Kind of, yes. He had a seizure and died, and I still think about him a lot.

5. What countries did you visit?
Zero this year, but I visited europe the year before, so I’m good for awhile.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
A happy, committed relationship.

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Jan. 10th. I was driving in my car to work when I got the phone call accepting me into the PhD program, everything paid.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting into my PhD program

9. What was your biggest failure?
My relationship failed, I guess.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing serious.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Unlimited Bikram all summer.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
My brother prepping for the LSATs.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Boyfriend’s, but I’m too emotional to see that one very clearly. (and only the depressed part)

14. Where did most of your money go?

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
graduate school and moving.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
Arcade Fire, Rebellion Lies

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. Happier or sadder?
Sadder. I am always happier when I am in a relationship.

ii. Thinner or fatter?

iii. richer or poorer?
Poorer, if that is possible.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Eating unhealthy food.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
With my parents and brother.

23. How many one-night stands?
This year? Lets see… Um… Zero, I guess.

24. What was your favourite TV program?
30 Rock, The Office, and I’m loving Kath and Kim.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Nobody comes to mind.

26. What was the best book you read?
Seriously? It would have to be some of the chick lit I read this summer.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Scissor Sisters, but that doesn’t count.

28. What did you want and get?
I wanted to get into grad school, and I did.

29. What was your favourite film of this year?
Sex and the City!.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 27. Zai surprised me with a weekend in Vegas. I got sick there.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?

34. What kept you sane?
Nothing. I actually, sort of went mad this fall, but thinking I’ll recover.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Sarah Jessica Parker, I think.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Prop. 8

37. Who did you miss?
my friends and family in Utah.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
I met a lot of good new people because of the move.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
to take more control over my own life

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"Ain’t no sum bitch gonna treat me like a ho."

my turn

100 things meme … bold what you’ve done.

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band 
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower 
6. Given more than you can afford to charity (ten percent of my income is not more than I can afford, evidently)
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain 
9. Held a praying mantis

10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch

15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty 
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France

20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort 
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping

27. Run a Marathon (no, but I did fun cross country and all that entails.)
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person 
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community (We have Mennonites. Does that count?)
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied 
(Yep, especially that year I made a whopping $25,000!)
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David in person
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant (I’ve bought beer at the grocery store for people who look like they needed it.)
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted 
48. Gone deep sea fishing
(in Alaska)
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris 
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain

53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater 

56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma 
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy 
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar 
(when I dated the Russian. They’re way into the caviar.)
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone 
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
(It *felt* like it was speeding…)
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car (I can’t see myself doing that.)
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House

87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating (I helped my dad one year. If you were there, you would agree that that counted.)
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life 
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
(I wouldn’t get in it, but I’ve seen it several times.)
97. Been involved in a lawsuit
98. Owned a mobile phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day

I finally felt better today. Finally! I am prone to what is, I’m sure, seasonal depression. The scariest thing about being depressed is losing control, not being able to come out of it. Usually exercise does the trick or exercise and diet, but I’ve been apathetically going through the motions all week. Today after yoga, I finally felt great. To top it off, I went for a walk and got a little sunshine. Hopefully that will continue. I haven’t been depressed for over two years. I attribute my contentedness to having been in a happy relationship. But now, I have to face another winter as a single girl–no easy task, especially not for me.
Also, this week a fellow grad student announced that she needed to get rid of a cat, a female Russian Blue, that’s actually half Bengal, but looks mostly Russian Blue. I did a little research and found that females are supposedly less allergy inducing than males and that the coat of a Russian Blue is somewhat hypoallergenic too. It’s tempting…

Somebody please talk me out of getting a cat. I’ve been wanting a pet ever since I started living alone–a little over a year ago. There was a really pretty barn cat that I fell in love with last winter. She was sweet and seemed like she had been abandoned. I decided I would take her home, but she disappeared before I could take her.
Here’s the thing. I am allergic to cats. It’s just that I think a cat would be much better for me than a dog. According to the internet, there are some breeds of cats that are more hypoallergenic than others.
The other option is a small dog, but that is even more of a commitment, and it seems like a cat is the best way to ease into owning a pet.
Is it worth having a constant runny nose and one eye swollen shut?


Let me tell you a story about the dentist. My whole life dentists have told me that I had perfect, beautiful teeth. They look pretty good, but mostly they’re talking about the fact that they are strong and free of cavities. About two years ago, a new dentist was working part-time at my "trusty" dentist’s office and said that I had four cavities. This surprised me because they were my first "cavities." (I use quotations because now, two years later, we can assume there were never any actual cavities.) At the time, I didn’t have insurance, and so I asked if they could wait. "No," she said. "Fill them now." I have gone to the dentist every year of my life, so being obedient, I agreed to have two cavities filled and then fill the other two when I could afford it. Well, the first two fillings were a nightmare. For six months, I could not chew on one side of my mouth because the tooth hurt so bad. Also, during the procedure, when the dentist checked my bite, she made me bite my tongue. She asked me to bite down. "Harder. Harder!" she kept saying, not understanding the problem. Evidently, she had failed to notice that I was biting my tongue (which had been numbed) as she said, "bite harder, harder!" Needless to say, I had severely bit and damaged my tongue, having bit it as hard as I could for several seconds.
So, after six months of pain on the filling, the dentist decided to refill the cavity to see if that would help the pain go away. The pain took nearly a year to go away the second time, but it is mostly gone now. I still get a shock when I eat some hard foods. Also, the filling is jagged and catches food, which is a total pain. And, my bite is forever changed because at one point the dentist altered one tooth, thinking that was the source of the pain. It was not. Also, those two teeth are too close together now, making flossing difficult. (The dentist really had to yank on the little plastic divide with both hands and pliers just to remove it after the procedure–that’s how close together the teeth are.) Let me tell you, the shots, the pain, the drilling–it was all unpleasant, but totally manageable compared to the year and a half nightmare I’ve had.
So, now I have dental insurance, and so today I went to see a local, reputable dentist. I explained the problems, including the fact that I still had two "cavities" that I hadn’t got around to filling since the past year and a half has been so miserable.
The new dentist did a very thorough check up. He smoothed over the jagged ledge from the last filling I had, told me I had beautiful teeth, and let me go. "But wait!" I said, "What about the other two cavities?" You have no cavities," he said. We double checked the (very high quality digital) x-rays and saw no cavities. He agreed that my teeth were in perfect shape and that we could probably conclude that I never had any cavities to begin with. The fillings were in vain! Since cavities do not disappear, I can only assume that the dentist was just trying to get some dental work out of me and that I have endured a year and a half of anguish (and a forever altered mouth) for nothing! Seriously people. Seriously.