Monthly Archives: January 2009

good bye little purple lump of skin

The scar on my left leg that was given more attention, loved and kissed, more than any scar really deserves to be loved and kissed (thank you Isaiah!), was removed this morning. I didn’t count the stitches, but I would guess there are somewhere between six and ten of them. My leg will be wrapped until tomorrow (maybe longer), and I will live and wash and shave as usual for ten days at which point the stitches will be removed and I will be informed of the lab results. The back of my knee is numb (hoping there isn’t a blood clot stuck in there), and I feel like the deadening shot is affecting my optic nerve, but other than that, all is well. I plan to read in bed most of the day. That’s where I’ll be if you need me.

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My life seems a series of blips, status updates, emails, news clips. Everything is so brief, and I am filling my day with millions of these brief little blips of news, celebrity gossip, Gorgias, magic, and consubstantiation. I have been back for three weeks now, and I can’t say I am lonely yet. There’s just something, something, something. Something’s going to happen.

the reading list

Permanence and Change, Kenneth Burke
Rhetoric of Motives, Kenneth Burke
A Grammar of Motives, Kenneth Burke
The Rhetoric of Religion, Kenneth Burke
Discipline and Punish, Michael Foucault
Rethinking the School, Hunter
As if Learning Mattered, Miller
Gorgias, Plato
Phaedrus, Plato
On Christian Doctrine, Augustinus
Quintilian on the Teaching of Speaking and Writing
American Indian Rhetorics of Survivance, Stromberg
Rhetorical Theory by Women Before 1900, Donawerth
(and more…)

Have you read any of these? Any insights? Comments?

And, my final celebrity comment for the day. Mickey Rourke’s face looks like it blew up into a million pieces, was taped back together, covered in spackle and then slathered with orange stage makeup.

as exciting as sleep

So, I’m teaching this early morning yoga class. I have to be there at 6:15am, which means I set the alarm for 5:45am, hit the snooze, roll out of bed at 6:01am, stumble around getting dressed, run downstairs to start my car, stumble around some more in my apartment, then drive to the gym, where I feel dizzy and nauseous and not quite awake while welcoming students into my class. I’ve tried to keep the classes peppy and energetic, since deep inside I am feeling the opposite. But, a strange thing happens: I actually start to liven up. By the time I leave, I’m ready to start my day. I buzz around my apartment getting a few things done, thinking I’m going to read and work on school stuff, and then I just crash and nap. But, not today. So far I am still awake, but I have to wonder if it will last. Will I just end up crashing in the next half hour? Because if that’s the case, then I should sleep as soon as I get home.
Furthermore, I am trying to get to bed early, but my body is rejecting this. So, I dim the lights, do a little reading, and then it’s lights out by 10pm. Then, of course, I am wide awake. This is usually my homework time. Normally I would procrastinate and then read and type frantically into the night. My brain lights up. This is probably my favorite time of the day, but now I’ll have to shift my homework habits to morning, when I am way too drowsy for any thinking, let alone good, frantic typing. 
I guess I’m wondering if my body will make the adjustment, or if I’ll just end up getting up early to teach, only to come home, sleep through the morning, and stay up late with homework anyway. I just don’t like my day to be so fragmented. I guess I’ll find out how I do in the next week or so. I have to admit that teaching the early morning yoga class has been better than I thought it would be. It also feels healthy to get up early, work hard through the day and then fall asleep early too. It’s great in theory, but I’m not sure if that’s how my internal clock works. I’m also not sure if I have the power to change that internal clock.
Did I mention I need a full 9 hours to function properly?
 

what’s my motivation?

I want to talk more about the writing thing. I like what Ira has to say about creating something. I’d like to think my taste is good, so good that I can see that my own writing is not always so good. Not. At. All. Also, with that good taste comes the fact that I will have to read mountains of things that I can recognize as no good. I like to read stuff that is what it is. For instance, I can watch a romantic comedy or read celebrity gossip and love it for what it is. It’s when the artist tries too hard, self-indulges too much, or is too imposing. I guess I don’t want to participate in that process at the moment. I want to write something that is what it is rather than try to make something I can’t or turn it into something it is not. In academia, unfortunately, I have to read a lot of stuff that is trying to be much more than what it is. And, since I am in the early years of my craft, it is really hard to avoid this annoying pitfall, even as I can see it in my writing.