I want to write. I want to fall in love harder than I’ve ever fallen in love before.
I had one very sweet, lesbian dream.
Today is the first day of school, and it comes with such dread (and excitement). No really. I’m excited for the readings and the discussions. I’m excited to teach yoga. I’m excited to meet my students and read over the syllabus and schedule with them. But, I dread writing a seminar paper. Those things are not worth the stress.
I . am . getting . better .
And I must keep that in mind. Still.
Okay. I am finally back home and trying to get back to my normal routine. There has been so much. Last, a four day yoga conference in Hood River, Oregon that left me feeling amazing, loose, stress-free, loving, peaceful, better than I’d been in a long time, not that I’d been bad, but, you know, just very rejuvenated. Before that, I visited Al in central Oregon, a gorgeous place, but, for some reason being there makes me feel unsafe, nervous, exhausted. I can’t pinpoint it, but I need to remember not to go there again, or change the dynamic, or something. Before that was Jyry’s visit from Finland. I fell back in love with him again, which I do every time, but I’ll be fine. No big deal. I’m used to this one. We had a blast. We have this understanding, this connection between us that really reminds me that it is possible to find someone who gets me on if not every than many levels. It’s quite a comfort.
Before that was the trip to the Oregon coast, for the long, lonely walks on the beach, an incidental wedding (not mine), the Goonies house, salt water taffy, warm sun and humidity and basking.
Before that was my uncle’s funeral and many nights sitting around on my aunt’s porch with my cousins, visiting with family as they stopped by, eating lots of whatever everyone was dropping off for us to eat.
And now I am back in Pullman and I actually missed my boyfriend! (Although I enjoyed the break). We’re eating well. Last night was a spin on salad nicoise. I’m not sure what’s to come. I’m just taking it one day at a time, which is probably what happens right before you get married or get pregnant or some other terrifying life moment.