I am freaking out both more and less than I am letting on. My computers are in tip top shape. I’ve got everything in order. My exams start in a week. This week, between doing some reading, I’m spinning my wheels. I think that’s okay at this point because I’ve done enough work leading up to it. I hope.
In the meantime, here are a few things.
Weight gain. I have been eating comfort foods and not working out (I don’t feel that I can spare the time), save for the three yoga classes I teach per week. I only get any exercise during two of the classes. It is not enough.
Once I begin my dissertation, I will start watching what I eat and get back to a more rigorous exercise routine. I’m looking forward to it! In the meantime, I am a
fat ass not as healthy as I’d like to be. I put on a pair of jeans today that were not stretchy, and that was a big mistake. Big. HUGE!
Computers. I have one new (refurbished) computer and have put a new operating system on the old computer that was limping along at a snails pace. This appears to have been the right choice. However, I am terror-stricken with the possibility that I forgot to back something up and have now lost it forever. Because writing and the internet is my life, I develop a strong bond to my technology and the physical machine that houses it. These changes have been difficult to say the least.
Relationships. We’ve been fighting terribly. I mean. It.is.so.stupid. We both agree. I’m just not putting any energy toward working on it because all of my emotional, physical, and intellectual energy is going toward, you guessed it, the exams. I also expect him to carry more than his share of the relationship since what I’m going through is so intense. unfortunately, he is rarely able to carry any more than his own share.
Career. With any luck, by the end of this semester, I will be ABD! This time next year, I will be on the job market, which could dictate where I live for the rest of my life. Because jobs in academia are so hard to land, people tend to stay in them forever. That means if you want me to live in your town forever, you’d better start finding me a job. Really, my mind has been quite creative in the places I could see myself living. And, I see myself going there alone, but I know enough now to know that I never really know what the future will look like.
In the meantime, I am looking forward to the dissertation phase. For some reason I think it is going to be a very pleasant, relaxing, and healthy time for me.
That is all.