I’m reading a paper at a conference this weekend. A conference put on by my boss who may or may not be disappointed in my plagiarism finding skillz.

Here’s the thing, I’m not a huge fan of conferences. I’m getting used to them and I’m getting better at them, but there’s still a lot left to be desired. Usually, I can only endure one (maybe two) panels per day (each one lasting about one and half hours). Look, the ideas are dense, people are often simply reading from a long paper (I’ll be doing the same), and it’s just too much.

So, to escape, I want to retreat to the hotel room, but that seems lame and everyone wants to socialize and I want to socialize with interesting people, but then I get stuck with some boring person who is clearly just clinging to me so as not to be alone. And I realize I”m doing the same thing. And I’m bored with my boring conversation.

Plus, by the time I’ve written, revised, read aloud, revised and read my paper out loud again, the last thing I want to do is read the paper aloud at the conference. By then, I’m totally tired of looking at the thing. And afterwards, while I’m looking for an escape, people are milling around, saying shocking things like, “That was fascinating!” or “Wow, this has been so interesting!” or “I wish we could do this more often!” And I’m just trying to find the exit and sweet, sweet solitude.