the fog

Despite cough and fever, I interviewed well enough for an on campus interview at one of the few places where I can actually see myself working. Last night, the cold moved from my lungs to my sinuses. My head is still in a fog. I was up on and off last night and slept until late this morning. After a week of excitedly “seeing” myself at this new place, last night I had doubts. What if I can’t find the right place to live? The thing about this city is that it is somewhat illusory. It is friendly to walkers, but each block stretches on for a quarter mile. What seems only a few blocks away, is, in reality, miles. The cultural pressures there are strange, there’s no getting around that. The urban sprawl is a nightmare. I cannot end up in it. So, while the week before was about hope and possibility, last night was about worry and pessimism. I will undoubtedly go through a lot more of this back and forth before I actually get a job and move to where ever it is that I’m going to go next. Once this cold improves, I’ll have a better frame of mind about everything.

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