Yesterday was one of the worst days of my life. A bad day, but a necessary day. I participated in a custody hearing, and seeing a mother lose her child in a custody battle is one of the most heart wrenching things I’ve ever witnessed. This mother has reached a point in her life where the state and the people around her no longer feel she can properly care for her child, so the sadness was not from a sense of injustice, but from taking a glimpse into her personal hell. And of course maybe there is injustice on a larger, systemic level in the ways that poverty, neglect, abuse, and addiction all work together to help create a person who is just completely disempowered. It feels like a lose/lose situation, but the win is that one child will be better insulated from the worst type of people and the worst types of behaviors.
While it is easy to get angry at the lying and harmful behaviors, I also have to say that I admire her strength. I highly doubt I could go through what she’s been through and struggle in the ways that she has struggled. I just doubt I would have the strength.