a glass case of emotion

Note I stuck to my door after running out of lollipops.

For the first time in my adult life, I had trick-or-treaters last night. I thought that these days trick-or-treating only happened in the context of car trunks at depressing grocery store parking lots. I bought an insufficient amount of lollipops, thinking I would end up eating it all myself. Instead, there were knocks at the door! And cute little kids fumbling to figure out what to say and how to interact. I imagined that each child was overcoming crippling fear, shyness, anxiety, and autism in order to knock on my door, and so I was very kind and told them all that I liked their costumes and to have a good night. I got all teary-eyed imagining the personal struggles and triumphs they were all experiencing. (Yeah, I was probably projecting a little bit.)

Today on my commute, I listened to an interview with opera singer Renée Fleming. When they played an excerpt of her singing, I felt my mouth turn down and tears well up in my eyes. When the excerpt was over I thought, Huh? Weird. I guess that was a fluke. They played several more excepts throughout the course of the program, and it was not a fluke. I was in full-on tears by the end of the program.

Also on my commute, I listened to an interview by author Domingo Martinez. He told the story of his grandmother, a Mexican fieldhand who, widowed as a teenager, when on to meet a man in the tomato fields. They fell madly in love and proceeded to have a life-long passionate and volatile relationship. They were known to sneak away behind the produce trucks to “make love” on the job. They were not always so careful about getting caught or having an audience. Keep in mind, this was back in the day. So, it must’ve been pretty scandalous. As I listened, I thought to myself, “I AM IN A PASSIONATE AND VOLATILE RELATIONSHIP! And, the tears welled up again.

In less than a week, everything is going to change for me. By boo is coming back! That’s right, HE’S COMING BACK! While I anticipate that these changes will be mostly good and involve all of my wildest dreams coming true and so on and so forth, I also know that there will be an adjustment period and that I will sometimes be in a glass case of emotion and will have to do things that I am completely unaccustomed to doing, such as compromise and other gross relationship-y things.


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