last year and this year

I’m going to spend the winter skiing. Last winter, I went to Bikram yoga almost every day, which is obviously a very, very hot experience. This winter, I want to spend at least two days a week skiing (avoiding the weekends as much as possible), and that will be a very, very cold experience. There were many Bikram yogis who skied all day and came back to a hot yoga class. They and I are kindred spirits. I’m not sure why everything has to be so extreme with me–why the intensity of hot and cold resonate. Truly, I think I need that kind of intensity to feel alive, so that life doesn’t feel like it’s escaping me.

I spent last weekend with one of my favorite people in the world. I came away with some insights about relationships, language, and I laughed really hard a few times–some big, ugly laughs that were captured on camera. She explained that she is frequently, uncomfortably aware of how short life is. That’s why she needs to know a lot of people and do different things and generally have freedom to move around the world. That way, she can get a sense of other ways of living and thinking, which she may never get to fully indulge in her own life. I really like that idea. It has given me permission to explore and indulge in different ways of living and being. Last year I practiced yoga. This year I ski. And whatever I do, I don’t buy a house.

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