I never used to be the person who said this, but I am now: the holidays are hard. I want to be home with my immediate family, but I also want to be here, in my own home. I want to cook. I want to write. I want the warm fuzzies of the holidays. I have very high expectations because holidays past have almost always been really wonderful.
I wasn’t able to/chose not to go home to Oregon, and that was hard. But, I also got to have two Thanksgiving dinners–one with my boo’s family and one with my Utah family here. It was really nice to be with these wonderful people who I’ve come to know and love.
Last year was the first year that I had my own Christmas tree. Each year I do a little more to make my home festive for the holidays. Normally, I would just wait until I went to Oregon and then bake and decorate like crazy the entire time I was there. Now, things have changed. I’ve changed, my family dynamic has changed, and I have a stronger desire to develop my own rituals and traditions in my own home.
Part of this has to do with having someone to share the holidays with. But mostly, probably, it has to do with the fact that I am no longer a student (as I had been for my entire adult life) and can now afford to do a few simple things–like buy and string up Christmas lights, which I love!
Still, I miss my family in Oregon, and I can’t wait to see them at Christmas. Just a few more weeks of work and whole lot of grading, and I’ll be ready to go.