Category Archives: enlightenment

Black Beauty by Anna Sewell

Over the winter break, I read the 1877 book, Black Beauty, by Anna Sewell with my children. I believe this was the first time I’d read the book, and, although it is a “children’s book,” as you know, I like to include children’s books here if they have literary merit, and this one does!

Black Beauty is said to be the first book to anthropomorphize an animal. This seemed impossible to me when I read it, and it must be with the exception of fables and what not. I double checked The Jungle Book, and indeed it was published 17 years later.

The book follows the life of the horse, Black Beauty–from his youth as a colt running through the fields, to very many different owners and jobs across his life, and finally through to his retirement.

I frequently wonder what animals are thinking, feeling, and experiencing. I’m sure most people do. However, maybe unlike most people (perhaps?), I don’t assume animals are having a similar experience to humans. For example, I often perceive some dogs to be very nervous when their owner states that they’re actually being playful. However, in Black Beauty, the horse is depicted as experiencing life much like a human might assume. He appreciates gentle petting, and he grows to love his (good) owners and other horses he knows. He suffers in circumstances where when humans might also suffer. In fact, the horse even seems to suffer in situations sooner than I might imagine a horse would suffer.

Speaking of suffering, for a children’s book, this is an emotionally heavy book, with open depictions of abuse, suffering, tragedy, and death. My children were too young to pick up everything that was happening in the book, but I frequently found myself cringing as I read over some of the tougher scenes. I think this book would be much better read for older children, who are able to read well on their own. By then, maybe they will be ready for some of these heavier themes.

I am not a horse person myself. I appreciate horses, but I am not “horse crazy” like some people I know. (I do really love sheep though!) Anyway, Black Beauty is an excellent, classic book. Everyone, old or young, who loves horses, should read this book. It’s also worth reading for those who want a glimpse of what life was like 150 years ago, when horses were still the source of power for most people.

continued…Hannah Coulter by Wendell Berry

I wanted to add more to my thoughts on Hannah Coulter by Wendell Berry. In this post, I want to address farming, and generational farming. Having grown up on a ranch myself, I have more complicated thoughts about some of the portrayals in Berry’s book.

[spoilers ahead; not that this book has a dramatic plot]

In the book, after growing up on what is described as a beautiful, but hard-earned farm, all of Hannah’s children “choose” not to return to the farm/farming. This is perceived somewhat as a moral failing on the part of the children and their parents. One child is not really interested in farming and goes on to make big money in California. The other boy is very interested in farming. However, after studying agriculture in college, he stays in academia, becoming a well-respected professor and scholar. The daughter goes on to be a school teacher, something she seems to be passionate about from a young age.

However, even if Margaret wanted to stay on the farm, given the sexism and cultural expectations of the time and place, it is difficult to see how a young woman might make a life for herself on a farm, especially not without a husband. She inherits her grandparents’ place, but even if she were to live there at some point, it might have created a difficult power dynamic with a husband, since she would likely be landowner and therefore the more powerful of the two. Opportunities for women, especially single women, are rare in rural settings. Likewise, opportunities for dating and relationships are much fewer in rural settings as well.

The son Mattie found great success away from the farm, both personally and financially. Hannah doubts his happiness, but can’t argue that he was ever deeply interested or suited in farming. That’s okay. Not everyone will be. Though his life is very different, even unrecognizable to Hannah, he might be happy.

To me, Caleb represents the biggest heartbreak. His parents are deeply disappointed that he decides not to return to the farm after college. However, at that point, it would have meant taking on a life of near poverty, a life that would make affording a family incredibly difficult. Caleb is likely heartbroken by this realization too. Small-scale farming would not provide him financial stability. Meanwhile, increased financial stability might give him the greatest chance of eventually keeping the farm for generations to come, maybe returning to it to live and to farm during his own lifetime. That possibility is not out of the question by the end of the novel, though Hannah never seems to think of it. She has this typical, well, I guess they’re just gone, type of attitude. I know some old farmers who are like that too, and it’s like they cannot even see the financial side of things.

At the end, and here is the real spoiler, Virgie returns, Virgie who has rebelled and disappeared for years. When he is at rock bottom, he finally comes back to his grandma and her farm, and she allows him to stay and start farming, with their older extended family and friends serving as mentors to him. Hannah feeds him and houses him and pays him an hourly wage for work he does on her farm, and the others pay him an hourly wage for work he does for them. This would have been around the turn of the last century, and I find it hard to believe that these small-time farmers are able to pay someone, especially someone who lacks much skill, an hourly wage. Hannah probably could in her older age, but not as a long term solution.

Hannah is not naive and does not assume that Virgie will stay and take over the farm, but maybe he will. In the end, the kid who demonstrates the least amount of responsibility and follow through may end up with the farm? More complicated still is the fact that Mattie’s children may have taken an interest in farming too, but having not grown up in the area, it’s unlikely they would ever gain the knowledge required to run the place.

Yes, there was a huge exodus from small farming in rural America in the latter half of the last decade, but I’d argue that the shift did not have to do with disinterest, or pursuing seemingly easier lives. It had everything to do with the monopolization of farming in the US and the lack of profits in small-scale farming. There were significant cultural and especially economic factors at play that Hannah (Berry?) seemed to overlook.

This all resonates so much with me because I also grew up on a ranch, as I stated earlier. I’m one of the kids who really loved farming–the cycles of the season, the fresh air, working with the animals, the constant scheming and figuring out hay supplies and breeding seasons, and lambing seasons, and on. This still is deep within me, and I love it. However, as a child, I quickly saw that it would be nearly impossible to be able to afford land of my own. “Working out” would always be a necessity, which is fine now since so much mechanization is available. Still, the landscape and reality is changing and worsening for farming. It’s not a matter of choice, or who is willing to work harder. For many–it’s a reality.

Amid such a challenging landscape, I’ve considered myself lucky that I was eventually able to get a little place of my own, and raise animals, and live in this way. I definitely can’t (and wouldn’t want to) quit my day job! Farming is not for everyone. However, it is for me. But, it’s complicated.

2023 reading list

For me, 2023 was a great year for reading, rivaling that one summer grade school reading program, when I read a very long list of age-appropriate books, and the year I read for the comprehensive exams in my Master’s program. Now that was a great list! There were years during my undergrad degree when I also read a lot of wonderful classic literature for school. However, this year rivals all of those other good years! This was the year that I discovered Elena Ferrante and many other great books as well. I don’t know how I managed to read so much, but most of these 30 books happened in the first eight months of the year. I took a break and then read the last few in December.

1. My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante

2. The Lost Daughter by Elena Ferrante

3. Heartburn by Nora Ephron

4. All of This: A Memoir of Death and Desire by Rebecca Woolf

5. Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal by Jeanette Winterson

6. My Body by Emily Ratajkowski

7. Spare by Prince Harry

8. Olivia: A Novel by Dorothy Strachey

9. A Thousand Acres by Jane Smiley

10. This Is the Story of a Happy Marriage by Ann Patchett

11. Lightening Flowers by Katherine E. Standefer

12. The Sun in a Compass by Caroline Van Hemert

13. Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston

14. Lucy by the Sea by Elizabeth Strout

15. Breasts and Eggs by Mieko Kawakami

16. Sea of Tranquility by Emily St. John Mandel

17. Mr. Popper’s Penguins by Richard and Florence Atwater

18. Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White

19. Deep Creek: Finding Hope in the High Country by Pam Houston

20. Heaven by Mieko Kawakami

21. The Argonauts by Maggie Nelson

22. Jane: A Murder by Maggie Nelson

23. Horse, Flower, Bird by Kate Bernheimer

24. The Old Ballerina by Ellen Cooney

25. Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens

26. In the Distance by Hernan Diaz

27. The Woman in Me by Britney Spears

28. Talking As Fast As I Can by Lauren Graham

29. Small Things Like These by Claire Keegan

30. Trees at Leisure by Anna Botsford Comstock

covers of my 2023 books

2023 year in review

Each year during this time of year, I love to reflect back on the previous year. I love to scroll through my old pictures. I like to look through all the books I’ve read. I like to reflect on the big, memorable moments. If I don’t stop to do this periodically, to look at it all, my life starts to feel like one big blur. I have come to cherish this annual reflection, which helps me stop time and appreciate where I’m at in my life, what I have accomplished, and all of the wonderful people who have inspired me and buoyed me up along the way—many of whom are you!  

This year I watched my children grow, and try new things, and learned more about who they are. I read more books than I have in years and found solace and regulation in all of my time spend in a good books. I traveled to Chicago, where I got to stay in a fancy hotel room with big, sweeping views of the city and Lake Michigan. Friends visited me in Oregon and Idaho, and they offered their wisdom, inspiration, and encouragement. A professional fire was lit in me this past year, from many embers that had been quietly burning, and I signed not one, but two book contracts and also completed another manuscript for an unrelated project that was a pure joy to create. I also enjoyed many much needed coffee dates and dinner dates with loved ones. All of this was made possible because, for the first time since having children, I have had sufficient childcare this past year. Each moment spent in my office was a cherished gift, and I worked (out of necessity) with a laser focus that I never had before becoming a mother.

Not all of my eras have been so good or so certain, and there has also been heartache, fear, and illness this year too. However, this era is a rich one for me. I awake to beautiful views, and wonderful people, and inspiring work, and I have felt grateful every single day. 

portrait of the author

Trees at Leisure by Anna Botsford Comstock

Trees at Leisure by Anna Botsford Comstock is a very unusual little book! At first I thought it was a chapbook. Then, perhaps a small book of poetry. I was a few pages in before I decided to Google it and find that this is actually an instructional book, intended and funded to inspire understanding and appreciation for trees–and originally published in 1916 no less! The illustrations are gorgeous. The text is strange and insightful. It’s worth the quick read through.

Small Things Like These by Claire Keegan

The pacing of Small Things Like These by Claire Keegan is more like that of a short story than a novel. This is nothing against the story–I love shorter works! I would classify this piece as a novella.

This book was a pleasant Christmas read, which was perfect because I finished it on Christmas Eve this year! This is a plot driven book with decent writing. It won the Orwell Prize for fiction that tackles a social issue, and it does that, and does a fine job of it.

In the Distance by Hernan Diaz

Over the Thanksgiving break, I read Hernan Diaz’s incredible book In the Distance. This is such a unique book, and as I read it, I marveled that folks at Coffee House Press were able to recognize it and publish it. (It then went on to be a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize in fiction!) I really do think it can be difficult to recognize books like these when they are submitted to publishers. The writing is obviously excellent from the beginning, so that helps it become recognizable, but there’s a surprising element of plot that goes on to drive this novel–and that’s requires a close read through to the end. As someone who reads a lot, I know just how big of an ask this is. Normally, a piece of writing needs to show itself off and say what it is immediately. This book shows itself off, but, in my opinion, is slow to reveal what it is.

As I read, new insights slowly emerged, making the experience at once both intellectual, but also emotional. That said, this book is also dogged and difficult and inconceivable at times, especially in the last half as plot and meaning start to cohere (congeal?) I found myself thinking the book was too extraordinary at times, but then reminded myself that books should tell the story of the extraordinary! Diaz integrates a kind of fanaticism in the great tradition of magical realism and is also both contemporary and traditional in its approach. This is a book worth reading and might make a great film too.

Jane: A Murder by Maggie Nelson

I followed up Maggie Nelson with more Maggie Nelson. This time it was her 2016 book, Jane: A Murder, which explores the 1969 murder of Nelson’s aunt Jane. Obviously, I’ve just been mesmerized by everything Nelson touches lately. This book is thoughtful, creative, but also frightening in the true crime kind of way. I don’t have much more to say about this piece–just that I think Nelson’s work is so novel and important and a way forward for us literary types.

The Argonauts by Maggie Nelson

The Argonauts by Maggie Nelson wasn’t on my reading list, but I dropped everything when I remembered I hadn’t read it. What a great book! First, it should be taught in graduate-level theory courses. (It probably is, but nothing like this was taught in mine.) We need more feminist theory like this that truly integrates the (deeply) personal with the philosophical. I can’t be the only one who gobbled this up, and I suppose I can do my part by quoting it and integrating it into my scholarship myself.

The blurbs about this book say it’s about art and philosophy, but, I don’t know, somehow those descriptions fail to capture what Nelson is doing, which is, admittedly, unparalleled and difficult to describe.

The book helped me understand some philosophy and culture more deeply through her insights and critique. Unsurprisingly, I clung to her thoughts on motherhood, joy, femininity, womanhood, and culture. Perhaps especially as a mother, I appreciated the spare, yet complex prose. What can I say–The Argonauts is yet another important book by Nelson.

Deep Creek: Finding Hope in the High Country by Pam Houston

I could have sworn it’s been 20 years since I read Cowboys Are My Weakness by Pam Houston in a beautiful little old home near Durango, Colorado (can you imagine a better location?!), but a quick search reveals that it was actually published in 2005!

What I remember is that Cowboys Are My Weakness was a transformational book for me. It was so real and so unlike anything I’d ever read before. Remembering this book is saying something because I started this blog to keep track of my reading!

When I realized Houston had written her most recent book, Deep Creek: Finding Hope in the High Country, I was anxious to read it. The book is a collection of short stories, and the most pervasive thread is probably her own growth in adulthood and her increasing appreciation for, and rootedness to her animals and to the land–in this case, a 120-acre farmstead in the Colorado mountains.

As a woman who has also spent a good deal of time solo and who has also acquired her own little “slice of heaven” and sheep (even some Icelandic!) and other animal friends, while also working as a writer, teacher, and scholar, I was drawn to her story and her insights, like maybe she could lend a little guiding light. And she did. Somehow reading her writing feels to me like taking a refresher grad class in creative writing. What a gift!