I read Tracing the Desire Line by Melissa Matthewson over the course of a few months. I started the first half before the holidays and the last half after. The book is beautifully written on the level of the line. I mean, it has a lovely structure overall as well, but the line really stands out.

The content of the book was personally challenging for me to read. The author navigates desire, FOMO, long term relationships, and does so through a lot of pain, and also some pleasure, though even that pleasure often seems anything but pleasurable (I often imaged the smells of old cigarettes, sour alcohol sweat oozing through pores, and someone else’s odor that just does not smell right).

I guess because of my age, and the relationships that are all around me. So many are navigating similar relationships, reactions, etc., and so it felt true and also frustrating. I admired the author’s ability to be the “bad guy” in the book. I think it’s so much easier to write from a sense of false victimhood, but the author doggedly avoids that and stays firmly in a place of truth telling, even when it is not flattering, even when it is something readers might imagine she’d rather forget, and even when this mistakes are out there for everyone to see.

I am reminded just how vulnerable one has to be in order to write good books. As for this one–it is worth reading for the line, but also because of the honesty, even when it is ugly and difficult.