I live in what appears to be a pretty generic apartment complex for college students. Despite the fact that there are no play areas, there are a surprising number of children. Once in awhile I hear a yell from a voice that sounds like who you imagine a 35 year old crack whore, who looks 50, would sound like. After the yell, some older sporty car guns it through the parking lot at 50 mph or so.
Last night there was party of drunken WSU students. They screamed the f-word, fought, seriously talked each other out of sudden waves of depression, and cheered as they all took a round of shots, over and over and over again until I finally fell asleep at 3am. I find the mentally disabled to be unsettling. They are unpredictable, and I never know how to act around them.
You are probably asking yourself, why did she go to college if she so hates living around college students? That is a valid question, one that I will probably ask myself several times throughout the school year. If this lifestyle is intolerable, I will quit. This is a threat that I make often. The truth is that I don’t want to quit, but I also don’t want to be miserable for four years. My hope is that my time here will become pleasant and familiar. Please note that I searched high and low and there is no escaping them in this town. I did my best.
One bonus of living here is that I am exotic and beautiful. This is hard to talk about as I come across as irritatingly…I don’t know…whatever you just thought of me as you read that last line. But there really is something to it. Today at the grocery store, there were several couples of tall, handsome, strapping men with less attractive women. In Utah, the opposite was almost always true. Everyday so far, a stranger has done something to reaffirm to me that I am accepted and desirable. Strangers smile here. Strangers do not smile in Utah. Living in Utah for three years, I had about three serious dates. One per year. That is bad. One guy turned out to be mentally retarded. The other one had Aspergers. The last one worked and was actually quite smart, but was not long term or serious (evidently).
p.s. Tonight’s dinner was some severely raped chicken. Note to self: always pay full price for meat.


6 thoughts on “

  1. syllepsis

    I love you.

    If you’re looking to get away from drunken revelry before school starts, I can recommend a good little town on the coast with a nice lesbian who would put you up for a few days. I mean, you probably want to get in on the drinking games so you understand the rules when the rest of the students roll into town, but I thought I’d offer.

    Thank you for the laugh. I had forgotten about the ‘tard.

      1. syllepsis

        I forgot, it’s semesters, isn’t it? I want a full report on your cohort. For reference: no one should be prettier or smarter than me.

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