Monthly Archives: September 2008

Rather than hijacking syllepsis’ comments section, I thought I would get some thoughts out here. There seems to be a discussion going on about Sarah Palin and sexism, but I’ve mostly only hear discussion about the discussion. It seems like people are incapable of actually turning their feminist lens on the situation and commenting. In her interview with Charles Gibson, she basically says that she doesn’t really see sexism. It was never really around for her growing up because of the new equality in sports. Obviously, this argument doesn’t go anywhere because only people who are a comfortable part of the hegemony say things like, I don’t really see sexism or I don’t really see color. She is only proving her comfortable social position here. The point is that these people are never forced to see gender, class, sexuality, race–whatever. Those who see racism, classism, and sexism do not get to choose. It’s in their faces and part of their lives every day.
Okay, but, back to Palin. She is a puppet, obviously. She is saying and doing exactly what I would expect her to do and say. She looks wide-eyed and shocked. I think she’s as shocked as we are to see her in this election. Yes, she is very conservative. The reality is that she holds the same views as a huge part of our population. Nothing new there. What she does do is she works to widen the nearly invisible gap between the democrats and the republicans. It’s a tool that works for winning elections. Divide and conquer. Which is part of the reason why I think it’s dangerous to hate Sarah Palin. It serves no real political function. But it does reinforce how easy it is for us to fucking hate women. The conversation about Palin is what a bitch, what a fucking idiot, what a cunt, what a great set of tits, what a VPILF. The conversation is public, but it’s even more rampant in private. Hating Sarah Palin is easy and more vitriolic because she is a woman. The same words and hate for a male politician are just not as powerful because we have no power over them because they are rich white men. They already have all of the power and can’t be disempowered by words. We do, however, have lots of power and dominance over women. We can make cutting remarks, and they will hurt and resonate because it’s easy to exercise power and dominance over women. John McCain, President Bush, plenty of male politicians say things that I think are a rhetorical nightmare. Figuring out how to approach the Palin conversation is trickier. Because she’s a woman. Do I like her politics or agree? Hell no! But seriously, what’s new?

I think that caffeine makes me fat. It doesn’t make any sense because when I’m drinking coffee or soda, I am actually eating less. I know about how many calories I eat in a day. It just seems like the caffeine messes with my metabolism in a bad way. Green tea is usually okay, but as soon as I start hitting the coffee and soda hard core, I gain weight. I know that soda has a lot of calories. I KNOW that! But, it’s the coffee that really mystifies me. It is low in calories, but it seems to be most closely connected to weight gain.

This link is in case you want to know what it’s like to be killed by a black hole. One thing I didn’t get, it said the smaller ones are more powerful. The more they devour, the more weaker the suck. So being killed by a bigger black hole with be a little slower (?), but I guess it’s all a matter of seconds.

I can’t believe how eerily cheerful all of the propaganda pieces have been on this thing. The more cheerful, the more I feel like I should worry.

it just depends on the day

Most of the time, I am happy and excited to be doing this work. There are also times when I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing (here). But, I guess, in the back of my mind, I believe that I’m delightful, that I’m a good teacher, that people like being around me, or at least could get used to liking being around me. So.there’s.that. My mind is spinning with possibilities of projects. The research and the reading involved? Well, that’s another thing. I am officially behind on my reading. A lot of the reading is a little too dense for me, but I’m getting a lot out of it too.
Graduate school is a weird thing–moving from a student who can do and say whatever you want to more of a proffesional in grad school. I think graduate school is different because there is so much more awareness of a career. We have to be professional. It’s funny that in the past three years adjuncting, I had so much encouragement. I rarely had to worry about being polite because, I think, in a civil situation like that, civility and politeness come naturally. It’s only when the atmosphere isn’t completely civil and polite that these issues come up at all. 
We are fighting so hard to gain so very little.
I am too busy reading to even do anything else, let alone the reading and writing that must take place in order to produce some kind of  product at the end of the semester, let alone all of the little things I need to do personally to stay sane.
Jarring transition–Boyfriend called me yesterday. He is about half way through his journey. He’s been walking for one month so far. He says he is hitchhiking to visit me right afterwards, which pleases me, although it will be interesting to see the new dynamic. I simply won’t have the time for him that I’ve had in the past. In the past we could just spend all day together. I was reminded of a sweet thing that he does. In the morning, the first thing he does is reach for me and say "I missed you." Okay, now, I’m sorry if I just made you all puke a little bit in your mouths, but it’s my journal and I’ll write whatever I want to.