reflections on the last little while

On our love: We fucked it all up when we put a limit on it. "I’m going to want other things, other people,other lifestyles, this won’t last, this couldn’t last" VS. how in the beginning when we knew no limits. In hindsight we should have rode that wave for as long as it lasted and not over-thought it. In the future I will do that (and I hope whomever I love will do the same).
One semester down: I’ll admit that I was quite neurotic myself, especially in the beginning. At the time I could only see it in others. I think I’m settling in now. I hope I am. But shit, I was going through a lot at the time. What can you expect?
Professionally: I no longer have the desire to write creatively. In fact, there is just a tinge of anger? disgust? toward writing. I don’t understand it nor where it is coming from, but there it is nevertheless. I do think I can write some academic pieces, which is good since I *have* to.
On lonliness: I feel like I’ve lost a lot of the people who I’ve been the closest to over the years. I’m not sure who is replacing their void.

 

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